If u say 'memory would never disappear

unless someone gets insane',

then why do u want to remove 'that someone' out of ur head..?

doesn't it too contradict..?

This's the phase that I shouldn't be in..

I hate to be like this..

and really hope that I can go back soon to my reality..

My reality.. My world.. My Commitment..

Where I ask for nothing...

Where I do anything for pleasure..

Where I am oK whatever u do..

Where I put myself totally free..

Where I -generally- am objective..

Where I am not hoping -even a bit-..

This's the phase that I shouldn't be in..

Am I doing too far..?

Am I hoping..?

Am I denying myself too deep..?

Am I lying to myself..?

This's the phase that I shouldn't be in..

My heart takes little 'things' deeper..

I am unconsciously jealous..

It's sumthin that feels weird inside..

I enjoy everything that we do..

I can't lie to myself that I am happy..

but then.. until when will this be last for..?

(oh,, c'mon girl.. why do u take this seriously..?

no need to think that serious, right..?!

<--that's how they struggling inside..)

How bout u..?

Do u feel the same..?

Are u confronting with it too..?

or.. is this just silly me..?

This's the phase that I shouldn't be in..

How ridiculous I am..!

-aRee-

Resolution for 2010

悔いの無い就職活動

Finish my up-coming thesis

Get a cum GPA of 3.5

Exercise more

(at least 20x of swimming --> an average of 2x/ month)

Be more sensitive

-aRee-

hufff...

how do you feel if:

you are in a very-close-3-members-friendship and two of them have already had their boy while you are still single..?

me..??

Happy..?? For sure..

coz their happiness means mine..

coz looking at their smile also makes me smile..

Lonely..?? Yeapp..

coz they gonna spend their dinner and their weekend with their boy..not with me..

coz they gonna spend their time texting their boy,, not me..

Sad..?? umm..yup..

coz you should share their attention and affection with their boy..

coz they won't need my extra attention (coz sum1 has already replaced me)..

Then,, I should adapt myself to the changing situation..

I should stop asking 'what and where and how we gonna spend this weekend..?'

coz it will make them confuse to answer (coz maybe this weekend they already have their own plan with their boy..) and I'll feel sorry for their confusion..and I also don't want to make them feel sorry to me coz they gonna let me spend my weekend myself..

They gonna reduce the frequency of asking me 'what and where and how we gonna spend this weekend..?'

coz they gonna feel sorry knowing I gonna spend it alone while they gonna having fun with their boy..

And coz both parties (in-a-relationship party and single-party) feel sorry each other.. there wont be any question about 'what and where and how we gonna spend this weekend..?'

Sooo,, the conclusion is:

I should adapt myself..

There are sooo many things out there that can be done by myself..

Things that I couldn't enjoy coz I was not alone..

For example: reading books, watching movies/ tv programs, enjoying my room, etc.. (I haven't got any ideas actually..)

This gonna be a great chance of getting used to hitori-gurasi when I got my job later in Japan (If I can get one).. (that's why I like the drame 'o-hitorisama'.. I like the way she enjoys everything alone..and I want to be like her..)

It's somehow irritating,,

but I will make it FUN and ENJOYABLE, trust me..

-aRee-

When a GIRL is quiet...

millions of things are running in her mind.

When a GIRL is not arguing...

she is thinking deeply.

When a GIRL looks at u with eyes full of questions...

she is wondering how long you will be around.

When a GIRL answers ' I'm fine ' after a few seconds...

she is not at all fine.

When a GIRL stares at you...

she is wondering why you are lying.

When a GIRL lays on your chest...

she is wishing for you to be hers forever.

When a GIRL wants to see you everyday...

she wants to be pampered.

When a GIRL says ' I love you ' ...

she means it.

When a GIRL says ' I miss you ' ...

no one in this world can miss you more than that.

Life only comes around once,

make sure u spend it with the right person.

Find a guy

who calls you beautiful instead of hot.

who calls you back when you hang up on him.

who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy

who kisses your forehead.

Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.

Who holds your hand in front of his friends.

Who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you.

Who turns to his friends and says,

' That's her!! '

--> got this through an e-mail from a very-friend of mine....

always soo touching no matters how many times I read through it..

Have I found that guy..?

maybe I will be able to answer it 'YES' with 100% confidence

only if it is possible for us..

berarti selanjutnya kalau mw cari pacar (atw suami?)

udah ada takerannya yak..

hahahaahha..

wahai para lelaki,,

tuh coba ya tulung diperhatikan,,

kalo udah yakin 100%, berarti kalian sudah lulus sensor...

hehehehe..

-aRee-

L.O.V.E

Bahkan untuk mencintai seseorang tidaklah semudah membalik telapak tangan..

tapi kenapa mencinta harus dipersulit lagi dengan:

1. the one who you love is the one you shouldn't fall in love with..

2. you do love him/her but you are not able to say it because of the stupid silly situation and condition..

3. you do love him/ her; you want to shout out loud letting every human in this world know how much you love him/her; but maybe after you say it your relationship with him/ her won't be the same as it is now..

4. you are not brave enough to say it to him/her..

5. he/she is not yours..

6. ...

Doesn't it hurt to keep your bursting feeling towards him/ her..??

Why should people sacrifice so much only for loving sum1..??

Even for loving someone is not as easy as ABC..

Why should people sacrifice more..?

loving and to be loved..

'Love'..

a word that -they say- unites 2 people..

is actually not more than a word that complicates 2 people..

-aRee-

Why God created us differently..

Why God created us differently

if God only wants to be worshipped

in one way?

That's why God created LOVE.

So all the differences could be UNITED.

Kenapa Allah menciptakan kita beda-beda

kalau Dia cuma ingin disembah dengan

satu cara?

Makany Allah nyiptain CINTA.

Biar yang beda-beda bisa NYATU.

That's one part of the trailer of Indonesian movie; 'cin(T)a'

is it really true?

or...

others argue:

to Love doesn't mean to Pocess

so,,

when you fall in love with someone

that u shouldn't..

should you

go ahead

and

fight

to get your love?

if you answer: YES..

is that means

that your ego is just too high

that

you HURT people around you

you SACRIFICE them

only for the sake of your ego..?

if your answer: NO..

is that means

you are a COWARD

that you even don't have any BRAVERY

to go get your love..?

then, choice is (again and again) in your hand

(coz life is about choosing):

PEOPLE AROUND YOU

OR

YOU?

-aRee-